However, it's the 'loving thy neighbour as yourself' part that is a challenge. Love for people who make lives difficult for us is not easy. Because what you give may not be returned back to you. At least, you don't see that happening anytime soon. We admit THAT kind of love is not within us. How can we show love to someone who hate us and don't appreciate your kindness? We need help... we require a love that's out of this world... from an outside source. A love transfusion (like a blood transfusion) from the One who proclaimed,"I AM love." The perfect, agape love God has for Mankind is the standard we should be striving for. Now that's easier said than done. Not for you. Certainly not for me.
Not even for Jesus. Listen to his frustration in Mark 9:19, "You people of little faith. How long must I stay with you? How long must I put up with you?" Knowing that Jesus asked such a question reassures us that loving people is an uphill task, even for the Son of Man.
"We love because He first loved us. If anyone says,"I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. And He has given this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother."
1 John 4:19-21
The secret of relationships is NOT thinking of ways and means of how to find out the good points, the 'positives' out of a person in order for you to accept, even love him/her. It is loving, in spite of all the person's nastiness and bad attitude and behaviour towards you. It's not thinking of how the person will return your favour.... it's giving without expecting a return.
It was when I became a re-born Christian that I realise the joy of giving of yourself, and expect nothing in return. The Christmas of 2003 that I couldn't think of anything that I wanted or needed for myself. I felt full and couldn't take in one more gift! That Christmas I learned what true gift-giving is - it is when giving a gift feels like getting a gift. It happened when I gave with reckless abandon, deep love, and the desire to give joy to another. The joy of giving filled me up and has become my modus operandi - I call myself the selfish giver. Because of this technique, each time I give I feel the wonderful pleasure of receiving a gift. Every time you give, you also receive something. I remembered in a Rick Warren seminar when he said that in all the years as a Christian, he ALWAYS loses in the game of giving that he played with God. Outgiven in all arenas. I was just sitting there and thinking," Wow! That's a powerful thought." And I started to think about the ways in which I could give. Still, I still have a long, long way to go from the agape love God has for us... that is, loving without expecting a positive response... selfless and unchanging.
Love is a package deal. Meaning, you take the whole package.... the good and.... the bad as well.
Wouldn't it be great if you can pick and choose the good qualities that you like in a person and throw away the bad points... like in a buffet queue. I'll take the buffalo wings and potato wedges. Asparagus? Nah. And I'll skip the lady fingers as well. Yucks. Wouldn't it be wonderful? Choosing what you want and pass on what you don't.
What if parents could do this with kids? I'll take a plate of good grades and obedience and I am passing on teenage identity crisis, BGRs and tantrum throwing.
What if kids could do the same with parents? Pls give me more allowance and just 2 hours daily of playing PS2 but no more piano lessons and curfews. Thank you.
And spouse to spouse? Hmmm... how about a bowl of good health and good moods. But laundry, in-laws, fetching the kids back from Grandma's and going to the market on Sundays are not on my diet.
Wouldn't it be great if love is like a buffet line? Easier, neater, painless and peaceful.
But you know what. It wouldn't be love. Coz love doesn't accept just a few things. Love is willing to accept ALL things. "Love... bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things." 1 Cor 13:4-7
God's view of love is like my mom's view of food on the dinner table. You finish off everything on your plate. No picking. No choosing. No large helping of the good and passing on the bad. Love comes in a package.
But the question is, how then can we love those who are difficult to love?
Looking at the Sciptures... Paul, too stared at the same question above.
In 1 Corinthians, the church in Corinth which Paul started, has gone haywire. The congregation were disunited and at loggerheads at one another. Things are getting out of hand. 1 Cor 10 shows them to have their favourite leaders of whom they followed. In 1 Cor 5:1-2, Paul was lamenting an incident that a man was having an affair with his father's wife and no one bothered to voice this out. In chapter 6, there were lawsuits among the believers. Later in chapter 8, there was a conflict between the pro-meats and anti-meats with regards to food offered to idols. As you can imagine, it was messy and Paul had a huge problem on hand.
You can correct them. Paul did. You can instruct them. Paul did. Or you can even reason with them. Paul did. They didn't really work. At some point in time, you give up talking to the head and start appealing to the heart. For 12 chapters in 1 Corinthians, Paul fought to untangle the knots of disharmony. The last 3 chpaters, he try to make sense of their conflicts by aligning them back to God's will. But chapter 13 is where Paul says, "All right. Enough is enough. I'm tired of all this squabbling. Deep in your hearts, you need to first love one another." He sees only one way to solve all this. L.O.V.E is the magic potion that Paul prescribed for the Corinthian church.
We have the hardest time dealing with people who makes things difficult for us. We try to reason. We confront. We try to teach and understand where he/she is coming from. But most of all, we need to love. To accept the fact that we are all fundamentally different in the way we perceives the world. A glass can be both half-empty or half-full. Either way you see it.
Only when we tried to put ourselves in Christ's postion and try to love unappreciating people, can we truly understand what our Father has done in kind for us. Jesus died for the ungodly. The unworthy. The most sinful and filthy. The undeserved. You and me. "But God demonstrates His love for us in this: When we are STILL sinners, Christ died for us." Romans 5:8
How long must I put up with you? Jesus asks a rhetorical question, of which he himself answered later on the Calvalry.
Until your place in heaven is assured.
Until you are made whole.
How long? Until my warm blood cover your body totally and completely. So that when the day of judgement arrives, the Father will see me instead of just you and your naked sinfulness.
To put others before oneself is the greatest love of all. Out of the overflow of His love for you, may you extend that joy and gratitude to those who are difficult to love. But you will need a constant, regular deposit of His love so that whenever your patience wears thin and stress level is max, you have something to withdraw from your love account.
"We love, because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
May our doors to each other always remain open. And our mouths only to speak words of encouragement and language of love.
Blessed are they who give without expecting even thanks in return, for they shall be abundantly rewarded.
Blessed are they who translate every good thing they know into action, for ever higher truths shall be revealed unto them.
Blessed are they who do God's will without asking to see results, for great shall be their recompense.
Blessed are they who love and trust their fellow beings,for they shall reach the good in people and receive a loving response.
Blessed are they who have seen reality, for they know that not the garment of clay but that which activates the garment of clay is real and indestructible.
Blessed are they who see the change we call death as a liberation from the limitation of this earth-life, for they shall rejoice with their loved ones who make the glorious transition.
Blessed are they who after dedicating their lives and thereby receiving a blessing, have the courage and faith to surmount the difficulties of the path ahead, for they shall receive a second blessing.
Blessed are they who advance toward the spiritual path without the selfish motive of seeking inner peace, for they shall find it.
Blessed are they who instead of trying to batter down the gates of the kingdom of heaven approach them humbly and lovingly and purified, for they shall pass right through.
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